CWJ Athey c Hipwell b Bovill 24 - the Allstars Take on the Taverners (and win) When the Lord's Taverners - the charity run by cricket loving luvvies - turned up at Mill Hill school to play their annual fixture against Saracens RFC, I doubt they were expecting to face the might of the Allstars. And rest assured they didn't. But Mike Bovill and Chris Hipwell were there and played for Sarries against an array of actor types and former test cricketers. How the pair got involved doesn't have anything to do with their ability on the rugby pitch (and in Mike's case, nothing to do with performances on the cricket pitch, either). The Saracens' side was organized by Adam Webster, one of the admin staff at the club. He foolishly invited Bovill along for an afternoon of free food and (more importantly) beer and will probably regret forever the phrase, "Why don't you bring along your whites, you might get a game." Sarries did indeed find themselves a couple short, so Mike was asked to play and Chris was rustled up at the last minute as well to complete the starting XI. Winning the toss, the Lord's Taverners decided to give their England bowlers Jon Snow and John Lever a trundle on a green wicket. Under a heavy sky, the ball moved about early on. But Saracens had a secret weapon of their own - Liam Davies, an Aussie Under-19 test star who already has a double hundred against England under his belt. The 'wee man' took to the aged Taverners like Matthew Hayden to the pies of Steve Harmison. So Sarries soon found themselves in the position of 114 for 1, Davies 79 not out. It was at this point skipper Ian Lancaster decided, in the spirit of fair play, to retire Liam. This proved to be something of a mistake as the middle order crumbled in the gloom. As the rain began to come down, the Sarries innings was called to a halt with the score on 175 for 8 (Hipwell four not out, Bovill the only man not to get bat in hand - probably for the best). After a rain break, an exceptional tea and a charity auction - at which a bat signed by all those playing on the day (including the Allstar contingent) was sold for an unbelievable £350, no doubt to take pride of place on someone's mantle piece - Saracens took to the field. The Taverners had the not-exactly-inexperienced pair of Clive Radley (test average of 48.10) and Bill Athey (a highest test score of 123) to open for them. After the loss of Radley early on, Athey and Colin Salmon, star of the last three Bond films as 'M's assistant (you'd recognize him, honest) got established, enjoying the easy paced pitch to score a few boundaries. There was only one thing for it, yes, it was time for some St.Anne's magic. The ball was thrown first to Bovill, the skipper feeling sorry for the fact he was the only player not to get a bat. Although Bill Athey won 23 test caps for England as an opening batsman, he could do nothing with the bombardment of long hops and full tosses he was subjected to, managing just two singles off the over. Hipwell was then brought into the attack and deservedly took the wicket of the bloke from James Bond (no, really you would recognize him) who played all around a straight one. But that wasn't the end of it, oh no. Bovill came back for his second over, confident Athey was there for the taking. And so it proved. The first ball of the over was a 'Golden Arm' special, arcing high in the air well wide of off stump. Those years of test experience should have taught Athey to leave it well alone but clearly the prospect of walloping a wide full toss to the boundary was just too tempting. The England man waited patiently for the ball to descend and gave it an almighty thump. But instead of seeing it disappear over the rope, he watched in despair as Chris threw himself to his right and took an excellent catch low down. Athey trudged off, the crowd didn't quite know what had happened, Bovill was running around dancing much in the style of David Pleat after he'd kept Luton in the First Division but Hipwell kept his head, shrugged and contemplated the St.Anne's Allstars Invitational XI's first ever test wicket. In the charitable spirit of the day, the remaining five balls of Bovill's spell went for 12 runs in something of a return to form. However, Saracens went on to win the match comfortably as the Taverners collapsed due to a combination of terrible conditions, too much cake at tea and Chris's usual excellent fielding. So the Taverners trudged back to St.John's Wood with the words of a certain Norwegian football commentator ringing in their ears: "Richard Stillgoe, Robert Powell, Nicholas Parsons, your boys took one hell of a beating!" Well, something like that... Mike Bovill More Mike Bovill The South Africa tour The Daily Mail