Sunday September 16th

Chailey, Haywards Heath, West Sussex: Priory Ruins CC (202-7) drew with St Anne's Allstars (175-5) Scorecard

Poor fielding and negative batting were the key factors as the Allstars squandered a genuine chance to claim a second victory of the season.

An efficient bowling performance had left us with a highly achievable target of 203. It would have been even more gettable had we not put down an almost unbelievable number of catches.

The potential for actually winning this match was underlined by the attacking strokeplay of Andy Clarke and Ben Backhouse, who shared an excellent third wicket stand of 64. But by the time they arrived at the crease the damage had been done by a tedious opening partnership which spent 15 overs scoring 37.

Backhouse - who was also our best bowler - was one of two debutants for the Allstars. The other was Seb Ewen, who neither batted nor bowled but did sport what were arguably the tightest pair of trousers ever seen on an English cricket field. Borrowed from the captain, who last wore them when he was fourteen, they brought to mind Cathy Freeman's body suit or Lance Armstrong's shorts, so snugly did they fit. Much to the relief of Seb's blood circulation, one of the Ruins players eventually found a slightly more capacious spare pair.

The pitch was as uncomfortable to bat on as Seb's whites. Priory Ruins have a lovely ground and are warm and generous hosts, but it must be said their square is not the best. Once more the wicket was slow and low and discouraged classical strokeplay. As a result the most productive batting involved hitting the ball either on the full or very hard on the up.

The day began in familiar fashion as I once again lost the toss. At the close of the season my Nasser-esque tally reads: lost 8, won 0. Ruins took first dig and openers Nairne and Kitch made a cautious start as the new ball attack of Tristan Haddow-Allen and Adam Clements bowled with good control.

Batting looked awkward, but the score had advanced to 47 before the excellent Backhouse made the breakthrough, with Kitch beaten for pace and losing his off stump. Three balls later the unfortunate Mayhew unleashed a full blooded square cut only to pick out the tiny speck on the horizon that is Andy Dyer's midriff. Those familiar with Andy's nickname can add their own jokes here.

Fats held on the catch, and 48 for 2 became 65 for 3 when Nick Jones had Badger caught and bowled.

At this pivotal stage of proceedings we made the decision as a team to drop every single catch which came our way. The new batsman was the imperious Paul Gower, who had tormented us with a superb century when we first played Ruins in July. We could hardly afford to drop him once, never mind six times as we began to field as if wearing blindfolds, oven gloves and leg irons. I lost count of who dropped what, but culprits included Dyer (dolly at deep midwicket), Thompson (another dolly at mid on) and the captain, who let a lofted off drive thump into his chest without attempting to actually clasp the ball in his hands. I also dropped Nairne at mid off by running in too far and ending on in front of the ball's trajectory.

Gower has an excellent eye and hits the ball cleanly and very hard. No sooner had he reached the crease than the ball was repeatedly flying to the boundary and the scoreboard whizzing round with increasing speed. He made a mess of Clements' figures, who after eight overs had conceded just 20. His ninth over (to Gower) read: 6 (over cover), dot, 4 through long off, 6 over point, another four, and a single. Gower's eventual 67 included another 8 boundaries.

To our credit we kept our heads up and bowled reasonably well throughout, although our third string of Dyer, Clarke and Thompson took a little punishment. Wickets fell at odd intervals to help stem the run flow. Nairne had reached a solid half-century before he missed a heave over cover and was bowled by Clarke. Gower was eventually caught at the seventh attempt, by Dyer at mid on, and, astonishingly, we effected a run out to dismiss G Wakely.

Adam, on paper our principal strike bowler, had so far a disappointing wicket tally for the season, namely just the one. Fate and wretched fielding had conspired to deny him any further success, as all through the summer every chance he created had gone begging.

With the declaration imminent, his barren run looked like continuing to the end of the season. As you can imagine, his team mates were very much looking forward to this. Sadly, our hopes were shattered when T Wakely swung at a Clements dobbler, missed, and was bowled.

The declaration followed, leaving us a target of 203. This would have been eminently gettable had we made a good, positive start. Instead, openers Tristan and Tom Morris began at a pace which would shame a snail, scoring at barely over two runs an over for the 15 they were together.

Accurate though the Ruins attack of T Wakely and Kevin Byrne was, our batting was overly defensive and at times downright turgid. Of the pair, Tristan was by far the more culpable, taking 27 balls to get off the mark. By the time he was finally out to a catch at point he had used up 46 balls - in other words 7.4 overs - to score just five runs.

Tristan is good at crease occupation but values his wicket too dearly and is unnecessarily reluctant to take the attack to the bowlers. His tedious display did not go down well on the Allstars balcony, particularly with his younger brother Felix, who from behind his scorebook raged apoplectically at every dot ball.

At the other end, Mozza played much better, although he also got bogged down at times and was fortunate to be dropped off his sixth ball. Tristan's departure brought in Clarkey, who also made a scratchy start as Byrne and Wakely sent down maiden after maiden. After 25 overs the Allstars had scored just 71 and the run rate had crept over seven.

The introduction of Winchester to the attack livened things up considerably. Bowling loopy off spin, he gave the batsmen plenty to hit while at the same time managing to pick up wickets in peculiar ways. He finished with the unusual figures of 4 for 77 from 11 overs. In his third over he bowled a completely straight ball on off stump, to which Mozza, for reasons still not entirely clear, decided to shoulder arms.

Ben Backhouse had already been our fastest and most penetrative bowler - taking 3 for 18 - and he now came to the crease to play a real peach of an innings. An aggressive, raised stance and attacking footwork were his trademarks as he launched into Winchester's bowling. 13 came from one over with a series of lusty blows sailing down the ground and through midwicket. A huge six which cleared the pavilion was the shot of the day.

Clarkey, meanwhile, was building an impressive innings, combining solid defence with the ability to work the ball around for ones and twos. Later he opened his shoulders and reeled off two splendid straight drives and a pulled six.

This flurry of runs - 46 came between the 27th and 33rd overs - was highly entertaining but insufficient to actually win the match. The overs were simply slipping away too quickly, and the accuracy of Gower at the other end began to stem the flow of runs. But neither were we ever in real danger of being bowled out, as the task of survival at the crease never seemed particularly difficult.

As the match reached its final overs the batsmen began to play with increasing abandon, and paid the price with their wickets. Backhouse was eventually caught in the deep for 41, scored from 36 balls with 4 fours and 3 sixes. Felix quickly perished to an attacking stroke, and after Clarke slashed to first slip there was just time for a brief cameo from Jonesy before the overs ran out.

Another draw, then, and our magnificent unbeaten run against Priory Ruins now extends to two matches.

One purpose this match served was to highlight the areas we need to work on over the winter. (1) Learn to catch, (2) try to find a slightly more effective pinch hitter than Tristan and (3) blackmail Ben into playing every game for us.